I received a lovely bracelet on Friday from the facilitator who matched me with the surrogacy parents. I had emailed her to thank her, and ask her about something. She called me back, and a whole conversation was started...
First, I've already been asked by the parents of Milena (the baby) if I want to carry again for them. I told them that I'm not decided on it, and that I needed some time to process, and recover physically from the experience. I said that for 6 months I didn't want to think about it. I'm partial to doing it again for them, since I think it would be very special. However there were various things that came up during the time, and at the end of the pregnancy, I had stated that I would not do it again for them. I said this to Leia, the facilitator, and to some close friends. After going thru the delivery, and having had some time to process those things that happened. I realized, that the mom was very stressed/anxious about becoming a mom. This manifested in some behaviour that was not appreciated by me. As well it was their first baby, and they were worried about every little thing. SO...I do understand what happened, and why. I'm a little hesitant still, because some of these issues, are ongoing with the mom.
Well during the conversation with Leia, the facilitator, she asked me if I was going to want to do another surrogacy. She had this couple, and she thought they would be a great match for me. WHAT?? I was a little thrown off, and then she told me their story. A couple with one child already, who when pregnant with their second baby, the mom had a placenta abruption, and the baby drowned in utero. Because of that abruption, she can't carry another child. They have already been matched with a surrogate, but it hasn't worked. The fertility doctor, told them they needed to go with someone who has had a successful IVF pregnancy, and preferably someone that he has worked with. I immediately was struck with a strong desire to help them. Of course. Who wouldn't want to help a couple who had lost a baby, and wanted to still add to their family. I talked for awhile with Leia about my concerns about my first couple, and that despite those concerns I did feel a sense of loyalty to them. F She's left it with me, and I'm thinking about it right now, and am going to speak to the first couple this weekend about everyone's expectations on a second surrogacy journey, and what that would involve.
Lots to think about.
